My Pen!

i got my pen! found this great shop >> the fountain pen shop. fred is amazing. i need to practice my penmenship. 


Color Inspiration

very inspiring color palette from dries. wonder how it'll inspire me... maybe use in my pictures, or my house.

New Hobby... Kinda

okay i totally want to start handwriting everything after my shoot with ms-- i'm looking to purchase a fountain pen! people are typing so much these days that seeing something handwritten is so precious. i don't even want to write properly perfect and everything. i want it to be freeform and lovely. i researching and seeking advice on picking a pen.


Cake For Holiday Season

when i first saw this i though it's a joke. has anyone made this? is she insane? the cake is decorated with canned apple pie filling, huge cheap candles, and... CORN NUTS?

Kwanzaa Cake



have a shoot for ms on wed. crossing my fingers we'll have gorgeous weather. it's going to be up in tarrytown. weather peeps keep saying it's going to rain :(

going to see the rep after her london trip tomorrow. i hope she has good feedbacks.

damnit i'm getting into that horrible insomnia pattern!!



this happened a while ago, but forgot to post. we finalized our tile choice for the bathroom. isn't that gorgeous? it's totally different from what we initially envisioned-- the grey mix mosaic glass tiles isn't dark enough, and they no longer do custom mixes), but i love this much more.

it's like, wow!, this must be one of those "life lessons" things, you know, if one door closes, another one opens up... or maybe it's not that deep.

now what are we going to do with the floor??!? do we go darker or lighter than this?

Good Day

today was a good day.

woke up at 8am and got my favorite breakfast- 2 fried eggs with bacon on kaiser roll with coffee and fresh oj.

then went to my favorite home stores like abc carpets, apt 48 and some great new finds to pretend i'm looking for furniture for my new uws apartment. but the weirdest thing happened... i tripped while walking and stumbled into the triple five soul sample sale! to keep my balance, i had to grab on to a black military-style shirt which happened to be the last one my size but somehow i rolled to the cashier's desk and when I tried to get up i handed the guy my amex totally by accident. i was so dizzy and confused by that whole episode i ran into vosages in soho and picked up 4 truffles...

anyway, now i'm back in the apt and just had some perfectly fried sole from "a salt & battery" with my white bean salad from yesterday. and for dessert I'm having another glass of wine with those truffles...


Eat Local

went to universal news to pick up the newest euro men's fashion and shelter mags that i couldn't get back home unless i made a trip out to book soup. then walked around cuz the weather was so nice. then i walked right into the farmer's market on union square. i remember the last time i was here with bibs and i couldn't remember which park/square it was at... so we walked to 3 of them then i realized that it was on the wrong day-- sunday. so i was very happy and bought myself some persian cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, farmer bread, and havarti cheese-- a la the belinas h&g lunch. then on the way home, added some serrano ham and cannenelli bean salad and a bottle of bordeaux. will post pic.



"Disco Dancer"


New Stairs

this is our stairs. i'm a lil bugged by it because it's wider than the hallway, like it should be in a mansion. maybe the short wall should go up like the architect intended and not do the iron one...

things are moving fast. we love our contractor. they're SO fast! it's only been 4 weeks and framing, walls and roofs are up, as well as plumbing, air conditioning and most of the wiring. i hope i didn't just jinxed it...


Kids Are So Cute

Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn't.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don't let him pet you.

--Central Park

Overheard by: amused tourist


New Height

went to the doctor today because i think i'm coming down with something funky. just finished a photo shoot on a farm and they had bunch of chickens and turkeys. so of course i'm freaking out now.

anyway, the nurse asked for my age and height and i told her 5'5.5" or 5'6 and she looked at me and said, "take your shoes off and stand against the wall", and then she measured me! she told me to walk away and turn around and pointed out to me that i'm actually 5'4.5"!!!!! all my adult life i thought i was close to 5'6"... until today...


New Beginning / Ground Breaking

construction officially starts on our 2nd floor renovation... from attic to master suite



in SF 2 week for PB. bibs can't stay because we've started our house project! it amazed me how fast the design and permit process went. we really thought it would take months. lets hope it moves at the same speed during construction... finally, a proper master suite in the attic! will post before and construction pics soon.

things are better. i'm much more mellowed out now. a lot of jobs going on. many ad jobs too. great. great great. love the new agency.

going to brunch with my friend tim today on fillmore. don't have reservation so not sure what our choices will be.



mmmm perfect summer dinner. homemade antipasta for 2. and wine spritzer.


food blogs

i've been reading and getting into a lot of food blogs. feisty foodie is one of my fav's. she's picky and spunky and cheap. hahahaah! feistyfoodie.blogspot.com


Mom's Tomatoes

mmm... yum... i love summer tomatoes. mom's are organic, sweet and gorgeously red.

had them as salad one night with warm goat cheese...

and made the rest into sauce because we couldn't eat them fast enough there was so many!



kinda depressed. anxious. and nervous. can't sleep. i have to figure out how to get back to the early bedtime, early morning routine.

looking at the sartorialist's blog does peps me back up a little. but i'm still not sleeping like i'm supposed to. i need my dolls!

have a mag shoot this wed. not sure how it's going to play out. it's going to be in a studio. i hate studios.

saw "the machinist" tonight. beautiful movie and story. i'm putting on my netflix as 4 out of 5.


Put The Needle On The Record

after my "pantry project", i started to put album art to all my itune tracks. but instead of using normal itunes-art, i want to use original album art from 7" or 12" singles. i think that's a great idea, right? i mean, so many artists spent so much work on conceptualizing their cover art, it's so wasted now... i miss records...


Home Porn

nothing excites me like a well-stocked, well-organized pantry. we converted our hallway closet into a pantry last year. i love playing in it... spent sunday morning restocking and "re-filing" it. gorgeous!

SO goth...

dracula's castle is up for sale...


Simple Salsa

1 canned tomatoes
1 jalapeño pepper
1/2 vidalia onion
1 clove garlic
1 handful cilantro
juice of 1 lime
big pinch of salt

• rough chop the jalapeño, garlic and onion.
• put all ingredients (including tomato juice) in a food processor and pulse to your desired consistency.
• que music. grab beer.
note: i like using the canned tomatoes for this because it's less watery than fresh ones, but fresh would be fine too.



mr.bibs accidentally opened my bottle of 1998 rochioli pinot noir last night... sooo gorgeous and yummy, but i was saving it for a really amazing steak night... remember that scene in "sideways"? i was very annoyed, but eventually kinda got over it.



i signed on with a new agent in nyc. i can rest now. actually, i can't. been having anxiety attacks everyday. shortness of breath... pressure on chest... i think it's heart attack.

birthday was last week. mr. bibs bought me flowers. gorgeous flowers by our favorite florist. will post pics later.


Fancy Ramen

1 package ramen
2 cups unsalted chicken stock
1 cup mixed frozen seafood (shrimp, calamari, scallops, etc)
1 egg
1 green onion

• heat chicken stock to boil.
• add frozen seafood, turn to simmer.
• add egg and simmer until shrimp is almost done (grey/pink but not red/pink).
• add seasonings from ramen packet.
• add dry ramen and turn off heat. put lid on and let sit for 3 minutes.
• pour into big bowl and add chopped green onion on top.

this was my birthday dinner all by myself...

Birthday Boy

mr.bibs is out of town in nyc at his cousin's bar mitzvah... doorbell woke me up early this morning and it was our florist with my birthday arrangement! she's so talented. i love mr.bibs!


Industry Party

have to go to this on tues. don't know what to wear. i don't like social situations. can't bring mr. bibs with me. i usually just show up and stay in the corner. or i'll get all dressed up and ready to go and at the last minute decide not to go. isn't there a "-phobe" word for this?


Bugs, Bugs

we just moved in to our temp uws apt. there are bugs! and a few cockroaches! yuck. i don't like creepy crawling buggish things, but i couldn't kill the beetle. it just looks so harmless and sweet. i did kill the cockroaches though. SO gross!



some pictures of our house. it's not completely done yet. still work in progress. mr. bibs has/wants to make a frame for the living room mirror before i post a more pulled-back shot.

we got most of the stuff from either ikea, west elm, wisteria, ebay, ross and marshalls. there are some showroom stuff mixed in too. i'm not sure what style this is, if any. just bought things that we liked that were at good prices. any ideas?

i'll post more when i get back home and take more pictures.


went to a few galleries on 24th chelsea this afternoon. other than the usual faves like francesco clemente at mary boone, the highlights for me was carl andre's early poetry works at andrea rosen gallery. he's very well know for the minimalist sculptural pieces, but these typed poems are amazing. def going back. sean landers text-based painting are great too, although his earlier works are so well done.

just saw listing for marc quinn at mary boon fifth avenue location! his work is always so simple but complicated. i guess that's when it's successful-- just hits u in the gut. also, enrique martinez celaya at sara meltzer. i'm going to check that one out because he was my painting teacher at my university! (def had a crush on him)



studying the weather report:
- which one has more rain, “...occasional rain showers” or “...periods of rain”?
- which one is sunnier, “partly cloudy” or “mostly sunny”?
- what’s the difference between “showers” and “rain”


Letterman Top Ten

"Top Ten Ways Paris Hilton Is Preparing For Jail"
10. Asking Martha Stewart for "shower fight" tips
9. Meeting with Revlon to market signature delousing spray
8. Looking up recipe for making Cosmopolitans in the toilet
7. Attending Tampa Bay Devil Rays games to get used to solitary
6. Seeking permission to videotape her conjugals
5. No number 5 -- writer too upset by verdict to write a joke
4. Seeing what Prada has in orange jumpsuits
3. I dunno -- getting drunk and acting like a tramp?
2. Telling herself, "Heck, 45 days? That's not even a month"
1. Giving guards list of how she likes to be searched

New Color (for me)

i'm going through a lilac phase... don't know why because i've always disliked purple-y colors. but ever since i saw this cover 2 years ago, i've been thinking about it. then last week (2 years later), i realized a really soft, subtle lilacish-grey would look nice and masculine if i use it as accent against dark greys and whites, right? like how a white wall next to a window looks right after the sun sets. that's what i'm thinking for our upstairs master suite. until then, i'm incorporating it into my wardrobe, starting with my mauve marc jacobs shirt.

i'm going through an anti-mid-century-modern phase. if i hear or see that furniture anytime soon i'm going to scream really loud in my head. i think dwr and dwell ruined it for me.


i've been freaking out all day with this finding new agent thing. i totally convinced myself that nobody wants to me and my career is over. and the one i'm working with right now is definitely not going to pick me up. just driving myself crazy. i was even planning a career change. i got an email from her yesterday saying that the response to my work has been "nice". so, to me means "nice, but..." finally i decided not to wait for her to call and i'd call to check in. her assistant told me she was busy (of course) but will call me back in a bit. i waited and waited and nothing. then i got an email from her saying she doesn't have my cell number so if i can email to her or call back. so i called back and everything sounds good. feel so much better (but not as much as getting a contract signed before i head back to l.a.) she still loves my work and although i haven't been able to nail any of the jobs that she sent me in for, she sounds positive so that's a good sign.

...sometime i can be such a teenage girl waiting for her cheer tryout results.


went shopping for my nyc apartment today at the chelsea flea market. saw a really nice vintage 50's but non-mod black club chair and thought that would look nice with a small french-country-y metal garden table. then went to pier one and saw a great petite wicker sofa with high back with cushions i can reupholstered with fabric from les indiennes. omg, i could totally furnish the whole apartment with, like, $1000!

o! also thought of names for our twins. alfonso and izzadore! alfie and izzy!!!!!

very happy at the thought of mr. bibs joining me starting this friday!



tried to design this site a lil. don't know html so can't change as much. been reading some other people's for a while now and their sites all look great. this is going to annoy me.

Cinco de Mayo

finally fell asleep at 6am. woke up at 2pm. i hate this schedule. have to fix it today.

looking through craigslist for apartments in nyc. just playing with numbers really. hopefully i'll make enough $$ to have places at both coasts.

had coffee and turkey/brie sandwich. hate mayo. have to remember that from now. Funny. French cheese on Cinco de Mayo.


I've been keeping a Filemaker diary for over 10 years. Last year or so I accidentally erased the only copy.

I think now is a good time for me to start a new one. Feels like a new beginning/chapter of some sorts. I mean, even my mother has a her own blog.

I'm in NYC this month in search for a new rep and work. It's not going as well/smooth/fast as I thought it'd go. For both the rep and work. I'm a nervous wreck and it's like 5am in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep.

...BTW, I'm calling this "Lazy Smurf" because if i'm working on this, i'm probably procrastinating on something else...